Imagine, if you will, an American team. One that is known the world over as not only being the best, but the best by a wide margin. One that is so good, so exhilarating in their play that they’ve inspired kids (and adults!) the world over to take up the sport. A team so good that they’ve been the object of a ticker-tape parade down the Canyon of Heroes in New York City. A team made up of household names. A team that has won half of all international championships … ever. A team that not only wins on the field but fights for everything that is good and right off the field. A team that won the last international championship — and then also struck a victory for a historically underpaid class of people in the courts. A team that has always made time for their fans, who flock to see them in droves.
Now imagine saying something like this about that team:
Unlikable? Irrelevant? Are we talking about the same team?
If you follow me on social media, you know I’m no fan of Alexi Lalas; a man who played the beautiful game at a time the US completely sucked at it and wore horrible faux denim kits, refused to play his position, and now has the cushy studio job based mainly on his memorable hair. Why FOX keeps trotting him out to offer up his brain-dead opinions on the women’s game is mystifying, other than the execs who make the decisions not being able to envision an entire studio full of women, like the Brits enviably got during last summer’s Women’s Euros. Lalas’ commentary on the UWSNT always comes with a side of thinly-veiled sexism and condescension.
But I digress. The number of people (men) echoing Lalas’ view of the USWNT would be upsetting if it weren’t so entirely predictable. Society and the patriarchy (shoutout to everyone who saw the Barbie movie!) are obsessed with taking down women it views as having become too arrogant, too confident, too outspoken on uncomfortable topics. Ask any woman who has expressed a confident opinion, disagreed with a man, or celebrated an achievement on social media (other than getting married or having children, which are the only acceptable things for a woman to brag about).
Even before the World Cup began, there were plenty of people complaining about the ads featuring the USWNT as being “too cocky,” too “full of themselves.” A criticism we never hear when it comes to men’s teams. Where was the “too cocky” complaint about a commercial that was reduced to “Be Like Mike: Drink Gatorade?” Has there ever been a team “cockier” than the Bulls of the 1990s? What about LeBron James continually making movies that feature… LeBron James? Or Tom Brady producing an entire documentary about how legendary he is?
It’s hard to imagine that the USWNT doing a better job of promoting women of color on the team, or women who are openly members of the LGBTQ community, doesn’t play a role in the sheer anger seething from men on the internet. After all, how many of these guys care about women’s sports outside of screaming about trans women in sports, yelling about the WNBA being boring, or hating Megan Rapinoe? My guess is not many. The Venn diagram of men who jump into every conversation to say “no one cares about women’s sports!” and the men pointing and screaming about the USWNT’s politics making them “unlikable” is one single, lonely circle.
The US has rarely had teams that were as dominating on the world stage for as long as the USWNT has been. USA Basketball comes to mind, and even then, the women’s team goes largely ignored, despite being much more dominating than the men. Not likable enough, I guess. Not humble enough. Not grateful enough. Too many women on the women’s team.
America Ferrera’s monologue in Barbie resonated with so many women because it is universally true. No matter what we are doing, no matter how successful we are, we’re doing it wrong:
“It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don’t think you’re good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we’re always doing it wrong…You have to lead, but you can’t squash other people’s ideas…But always stand out and always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged. So find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful. You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line. It’s too hard! It’s too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault. I’m just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us.”
Maybe that’s what upsets so many men. The USWNT doesn’t care if you like them. They don’t care if you watch. They don’t care that you hate their politics, or believe their fight for equal pay was a “money grab.” They don’t care if you think women’s sports are unwatchable. They really don’t care what Alexi Lalas thinks. The only reason there are four stars on the US Soccer jerseys is because of them, not the USMNT, and they won’t compromise or apologize for it. Unlike Barbie, they aren’t going to apologize to Ken for not wanting to spend time with him. They have plenty of fans, plenty of adoration, and plenty of endorsement deals. Sorry some of them smiled at the wrong time, though. Laughing after screwing up — something we have literally seen male athletes do since the dawn of time. Something we have all done ourselves. Are they prettier when they smile, or not? Make up your mind, American men!
The USWNT means something to women and girls around the world exactly because of who they are. Their confidence. Their domination. Their who-gives-a-shit-what-you-think attitude toward their haters — including the newly thrice-indicted former President of the United States. The women of the USWNT give the rest of us the courage to be ourselves. To care less what people with disingenuous criticism of us think. To celebrate our wins and laugh off our failures. I, and millions of other women, will never stop cheering for them.